Why Should You Discuss Your Will with Your Family?

Key Points

- Talking openly about your will with family members significantly reduces the risk of disputes after your death, because disagreements often stem from surprise rather than greed.

- Applications to block probate in England and Wales reached 11,362 in 2024, a 56 per cent rise over five years, and High Court disputed probate filings reached 1,217 in 2025 alone.

- The Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975 allows certain family members and dependants to apply to the court for financial provision even where a valid will exists, and claims by adult children are increasing.

- A letter of wishes, stored alongside your will, can explain the reasoning behind your decisions without legally binding your executors, and may reduce the appetite for litigation.

- From 6th April 2026, the combined Business Property Relief and Agricultural Property Relief allowance is capped at £2.5 million per individual, making timely professional advice on tax-efficient estate planning more pressing for those with business or agricultural assets.

Discussing a will with family members can feel uncomfortable, but avoiding the conversation often creates far greater problems later. When beneficiaries are surprised by what a will contains, or what it does not contain, the reaction is frequently to question the testator's intentions or mental capacity. In England and Wales. High Court filings for disputed probate claims reached 1,217 in 2025, a 12.7% increase on the 1,080 filed in 2024, according to figures from legal data platform Solomonic.

The rise is driven by several converging factors: an ageing population, a growing number of blended families with second marriages and stepchildren, rising property wealth concentrated among older generations, and a higher number of wills that are homemade or inexpensively prepared. A frank conversation during your lifetime is one of the most effective ways to interrupt that trajectory before it starts.

What the Law Permits and Cannot Prevent

England and Wales operates under the principle of testamentary freedom: you may leave your estate to whomever you choose. However, that freedom has a statutory limit. Under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975, specific categories of person, including spouses, civil partners, former spouses who have not remarried, cohabitants of at least two years, children of any age, and those financially maintained by the deceased, may apply to the court for "reasonable financial provision" if they believe the will, or the intestacy rules, have left them without adequate support.

For spouses and civil partners, the test is what is reasonable in all the circumstances. For all other applicants, including adult children, the court can only award what is reasonable for their "maintenance," a term the Supreme Court in Ilott v The Blue Cross and Others [2017] UKSC 17 confirmed extends to meeting everyday living expenses and can be satisfied by a lump sum rather than periodic payments.

Claims by adult children have been a growing feature of the case law. In Isaacs v Green [2025] EWHC 1951 (Fam), the High Court awarded 25 per cent of an estate worth approximately £600,000 to a 74-year-old son who had been excluded from his mother's will. The court found he was in genuine financial need and required provision for his maintenance, primarily to secure accommodation. The case illustrates that age alone does not prevent an adult child from succeeding, provided they can demonstrate real financial dependency or need.

In Hirachand v Hirachand [2024] UKSC 43, the Supreme Court clarified that costs incurred in 1975 Act proceedings are governed exclusively by the Civil Procedure Rules and cannot be included in a substantive award. This matters practically: a claimant who funds litigation through a conditional fee agreement will bear the full success fee out of any award they receive, and cannot recover it from the estate. That costs exposure does not deter all claimants, but it is a factor a well-advised family member may weigh carefully.

Applications under the 1975 Act must ordinarily be made within six months of the grant of probate or letters of administration. Late applications are possible but require the court's permission, and courts scrutinise both the reasons for the delay and the merits of the underlying claim closely, as illustrated by O'Herlihy v Taylor [2026] EWHC 505 (Ch), where a claim brought four and a half years out of time against a distributed estate of approximately £38 million failed to obtain permission to proceed.

Inheritance Act claims are not the only risk. Separately, a will can be challenged on the grounds of lack of testamentary capacity, undue influence, or improper execution. Lack of testamentary capacity accounts for around 40 per cent of all contested will cases, according to analysis of litigation trends published by estate planning commentators. Explaining your decisions to family members during your lifetime, and ensuring that a solicitor supervises the signing of your will with a contemporaneous capacity assessment where appropriate, are the two most effective preventive steps available.

Practical Steps for Having the Conversation

Taking the time to plan how and when to raise the subject makes a significant difference to how the conversation lands. A calm, private setting chosen well outside periods of family tension or celebration tends to work better than an impromptu discussion at a gathering. If you feel uncertain how to start, it can help to frame the conversation around future planning generally, covering topics such as lasting powers of attorney and funeral wishes, before moving on to the contents of your will.

Consider, for example, the situation of a Solihull parent with an estate comprising a family home, savings, and a small share portfolio, who has three adult children from two relationships. Two children are named in equal shares under the will; the third, from an earlier relationship, receives a lesser legacy because of an earlier gift of property. Without a conversation, or a letter of wishes explaining the reasoning, the third child may feel aggrieved and consult a solicitor within weeks of the grant of probate. A straightforward explanation during the parent's lifetime, even if the child disagrees with the decision, may remove the element of surprise that so often tips a grievance into a formal claim.

There is no legal obligation to share the precise figures in your will. The purpose of the conversation is not to produce a schedule of assets but to communicate your intentions and reasoning. If you have made a decision that may hurt or surprise someone, acknowledging that directly and explaining your thinking will be more reassuring than silence. You may also choose to write a letter of wishes to sit alongside the will, setting out your reasons in more detail. That letter does not bind the court and cannot override the will, but it can reduce the appetite for litigation and assist trustees or executors who need to exercise discretion.

If your estate includes jointly owned property, trusts, or assets passing outside the will, such as pension death benefits or jointly held bank accounts, it is worth discussing those arrangements too. Beneficiaries who understand why assets pass in a particular way are less likely to challenge the overall distribution. Anyone who holds a lasting power of attorney for property and financial affairs should understand their responsibilities before they are called upon to exercise them.

Families with more complicated structures, including second marriages and stepchildren, generally benefit from professional guidance before any family conversation. A solicitor advising on making or amending a will can identify areas of potential vulnerability and suggest structures, such as life interest trusts for a surviving spouse, that protect different family members without necessarily reducing any individual's share.

The Role of Mediation and Regular Will Reviews

When disputes do arise, mediation offers a faster and far cheaper route to resolution than contested probate litigation. Following Churchill v Merthyr Tydfil County Borough Council [2023] EWCA Civ 1416, courts have the power to stay proceedings and require parties to engage in alternative dispute resolution, including mediation, even if one party objects. CPR amendments made in October 2024 reinforced that power further. Mediation in inheritance disputes typically concludes within two to four months and carries success rates of around 75 to 80 per cent in civil disputes, a significant contrast to the years that contested probate proceedings can take.

Discussing your will early also prompts regular reviews, which are at least as important as the initial conversation. A will made before a second marriage, before children arrived, or before the acquisition of significant assets may no longer reflect your intentions. Marriage revokes a will made before it under English law. Divorce does not revoke a will, but it does remove the former spouse from it automatically on decree absolute, which can produce unintended consequences for the gift structure. Significant life events, including the birth of grandchildren, the death of a named executor, and changes in the composition of your estate, are all occasions to return to a solicitor.

Where your estate may be subject to inheritance tax, regular reviews allow your solicitor to assess whether any tax-planning structures should be put in place or updated. For those with business or agricultural assets, the April 2026 reform to Business Property Relief and Agricultural Property Relief is one such prompt: from 6 April 2026, the combined 100 per cent relief allowance is capped at £2.5 million per individual, with a 50 per cent relief on the excess, meaning an effective inheritance tax rate of 20 per cent on qualifying assets above that threshold. Estates that previously relied on unlimited relief may benefit from professional tax planning advice alongside any family discussion about the intended destination of business assets.

A solicitor who understands both the legal structure of your estate and the family dynamics involved is well placed to help you decide what to say, how to say it, and whether any structural adjustments to your will should accompany the conversation. If a dispute already exists, specialist guidance on contesting a will can help you understand the strength of any claim and the options available short of litigation.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does discussing a will reduce the chance of disputes?

Disputes over wills most commonly arise not from genuine legal grievances but from surprise and a sense of exclusion. When family members understand the reasoning behind your decisions, even where they disagree with the outcome, they are far less likely to seek legal advice aimed at challenging the will or bringing a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975. The conversation does not need to cover every figure; explaining the broad intentions and the reasoning is usually enough.

Can a family member challenge a will even if they were told about it?

Yes, prior knowledge of a will's contents does not prevent a challenge. A family member may still apply to the court under the 1975 Act if they fall within an eligible category and can demonstrate that the will failed to make reasonable financial provision for them. They may also challenge the validity of the will on grounds such as lack of capacity or undue influence, regardless of whether they were told about it beforehand. Prior conversations do not create a legal estoppel, but they do tend to reduce the motivation to litigate.

What should I do if I am thinking about excluding someone from my will?

Seek professional advice from a solicitor before making the decision final. Where an exclusion may surprise or upset someone who might qualify to bring a claim under the 1975 Act, your solicitor can advise on the legal risk and on whether a letter of wishes, an explanation in the accompanying file note, or a contemporaneous capacity assessment would be prudent. Obtaining a formal capacity assessment at the time of signing is one of the most effective ways of defending a future challenge on capacity grounds.

How often should I review my will?

At a minimum, review your will every three to five years and after any major life event, such as marriage, divorce, the birth of children or grandchildren, a significant change in your estate, the death of a named executor or beneficiary, or a change in your health. Under the Wills Act 1837, marriage automatically revokes a will made before it, so anyone who marries after making a will needs a new one immediately.

What is a letter of wishes and is it legally binding?

A letter of wishes is a separate document that explains your intentions and reasoning to your executors, trustees, and family members. It is not legally binding and cannot override the will or prevent a court from exercising its powers under the 1975 Act. Its value lies in giving context, reducing misunderstanding, and helping executors and trustees exercise any discretions in the way you intended. It should be reviewed and updated at the same time as the will itself.

About the Author

Jodie Hall (SRA number 666606) is a Solicitor in Pearcelegal's Private Client team, advising on wills, lasting powers of attorney, probate, estate administration and trusts. She qualified in 2023 at a firm in London before joining Pearcelegal later that year. Jodie is regulated by the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA ID 666606).

Last reviewed: 8th June 2026